Posts by The Berean

31

The Casual Importance of JW elders

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

so here is one thing i have noticed, and i bet i was like this before myself.. so many jw elders have a sort of "casual importance" attitude at the meetings.

they nod a lot, they have those huge bookbags, they read those society letters during the meetings, they walk down the aisles during the meeting and whisper in each others' ear, they always sit in the aisle seats.

they give the appearance that what they are doing is the most important thing in the world.. even the way they stand, and their manner of speaking reflects that they feel important, but that they are "trying" to be humble even though jehovah god himself is using them.. for example, tonight before the meeting i was talking to an elder about the upcoming assembly.

The Berean

The Elder group reminds me of a couple of old TV series: The Liars Club and The Little Rascals. As for the later, the library is their clubhouse, Spanky is played by the coordinator, the rules include "no girls allowed." And then if you look around the room you will notice characters resembling Butch, Stymie, Alfalfa and Buckwheat making "life and death" decisions.

47

Were you afraid to go to a bar?

by rebel8 in

someone who shall remain nameless (*cough*snowbird*cough) mentioned she has never been to a bar.. this shocks me.. i was remembering how terrified i was of going to a bar when i was exiting the mother ship.

i was looking for the lightning bolts to get me.

and it was a big nothing really.

The Berean

When I was of legal age I was encouraged by Mother to "flee from those things incidental to youth" so I kept out of bars ... UNTIL ... I literally watched my Ministry School Conducter crawl out of a pub with a lady of ill-repute on a Friday night. Later, this former servant and JW would explain to me (at another lounge) that he started frequenting bars when his fine Christain ex-wife forbade him from drinking at home. She won ... I guess!!!

6

Ten Signs You May STILL BE a Witness ...

by The Berean in

#10) you refuse to eat lucky charms breakfast cereal#9) you attribute your daughters drug addiction to an autographed picture you found in her room of peter, paul, and mary#8) you forbid your children to view a fictional movie featuring adult themes while you conduct a real life home bible study with an alcoholic prostitute.

#7) you will not walk near or under wind chimes for fear of contact with demons.#6) you recently burned a perfectly good set of goodyear american eagle tires.#5)) you blame obvious erections occurring at the kh as young hot sisters pass by on tight underwear.

#4) when shopping for an auto you will not even consider vehicles with objectionable names such as saturn, pontiac solstice, and most certainly not a hummer.#3) as a sister you explain to the committee that satan is disguising himself as a hard penis living next door ... who somehow you innocently just keep bumping in to.

The Berean

#10) You refuse to eat Lucky Charms breakfast cereal

#9) You attribute your daughter’s drug addiction to an autographed picture you found in her room of Peter, Paul, and Mary

#8) You forbid your children to view a fictional movie featuring adult themes while you conduct a real life home Bible study with an alcoholic prostitute.

#7) You will not walk near or under wind chimes for fear of contact with demons.

#6) You recently burned a perfectly good set of Goodyear American Eagle tires.

#5)) You blame obvious erections occurring at the KH as young “hot” sisters pass by on “tight underwear.”

#4) When shopping for an auto you will not even consider vehicles with objectionable names such as Saturn, Pontiac Solstice, and most certainly not a “Hummer.”

#3) As a Sister you explain to the Committee that Satan is disguising himself as a hard penis living next door … who somehow you innocently just keep “bumping in to.” They give you a pass and tag his address as "bad association."

#2) Your favorite CD is entitled: “Best of Kingdom Melodies.”

#1) You weigh 357 lbs, claim that rather than the enormous amount of junk food you consume it is an “imperfect thyroid” passed on to you by Eve which accounts for your obesity. The Elders by it and count both seats that your “fat ass” occupies for meetings in their attendance figures.

40

What finally pushed you over the edge?

by keyser soze in

was there one issue or incident, final straw, so-to-speak, that made you leave once and for all?

i know there was for me.. i had been having doubts for years, and had stopped believing it was the truth.

but i labored on as a jw, in part because of my family, and in part because i had invested so much of myself in it.

The Berean

My conclusion that even if the doctrines were correct ... I had no interest in living an eternity with the people who belonged to this particular organization. I would rather be dead!

33

So, how many of you stayed single or childless for the sake of the Kingdom? And how many people in your Hall are single or childless for that reason?

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

in my hall growing up, i remember 6 childless couples.

some have died, some are still alive.. i stayed single for the kingdom, hope to change that.. presently in my congregation, there are 4 brothers over 30, two over 40, that are single for the kingdom.

and about 10 single sisters over 25.. three of the five married elders have no children.

The Berean

Excellent post!

My speculation for remaining single or "barren" would include:

a) You wish to maintain an "untarnished" image and children are a threat to that status

b) You actually hate people

c) You can only offer "conditional love" and no one can meet your conditions

d) You are trapped in a system and do not wish to put anyone else thru the same pain

e) You still believe the admonition: "woe to the suckling one" during the predicted "Great Tribulation."

f) You are fearful you will raise childen in the same disfunctional manner as did your parents

OR if you're lucky

Gee) You were born with both sets of genitalia and you can screw you!

25

Signs of Being Controled by Satan

by Satanus in

jw
friends

one of the major ones is not believing in satan.

so, if you don't believe in satan, chances are about 100% that he controls you.

if you do believe in him, you chances go down to about 50%;).

The Berean

If you are a male and getting more "booty" than the Nephilim ... you may happily be under the control of Satan ...

3

We are "not of their sort"

by The Berean in

i suppose there exist endless accounts of events that have resulted in many of us venting on this board.

, however, i believe we can narrow the reasons down to a common denominator .... we are not of their sort .... being a jw does not work for most.

damages occur when those in the environment, inside and out of the family, use a "one size must fit all" concept of spirituality.

The Berean

I suppose there exist endless accounts of events that have resulted in many of us venting on this board. , However, I believe we can narrow the reasons down to a common denominator .... we are not of their sort ...

Being a JW does not work for most. Damages occur when those in the environment, inside and out of the family, use a "one size must fit all" concept of spirituality. Those of us who do not conform with the wishes of others and believe as they do, sooner or later, will have little choice but to agree with that Italian defense lawyer Johnny Cockeroni:

"if it doesn't a-fit, you must a-quit"

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